Posted 2 years ago
September 12 2012
4 notes

It could be rude, if the person you’re asking isn’t willing to be open about these things. However, since I’m certain we all know that I’m as open as open can be, in most cases, it’s not offensive to me. I don’t advise making this a question you regularly ask, though, just for future reference. <3

They change a lot, actually.

The visual hallucinations started off with just items in the house moving around. Stretching, levitating, and just generally moving about. Sometimes they’d move in ways that made me think that I was looking at something that had human characteristics (psychosis, if my first doctor is to be believed). They pretty much stayed that way, for months, until I started having some that were like waking nightmares. I would see, literally, something I was utterly terrified of. At this point, though, my visual hallucinations are really confined to shadows moving, items appearing to move (again), and sometimes it looks like I can see through walls (that’s led to many interesting incidents in public).

Audibly, it started off with just garbled whispers. I knew I was hearing whispers, but I couldn’t understand them. It was as though I had several new channels going, but on super low volume, and they were all speaking at same exact moment. Now… well, I can hear them usually quite clearly. Whispers, screams, shouts, or just speaking on a normal volume level, I get things in my head on a regular basis. It tends to be just my name, or some kind of a commentary that goes over and over and over. Other times, however, it can be, for lack of a better term, demonic sounding. Growling, deep, dangerous… and that’s when shit gets scary. I know it’s not real, but it feels like it, so much, and my ears always twitch, as though they’re actually picking up sound, so then I have extreme trouble distinguishing between reality and my mind.

Then, of course, physical hallucinations. These started… probably about eleven months ago. Mine is essentially the same as everyone else’s that I’ve read - bed shaking, hands on shoulders/sides, a sensation of being inappropriately groped, etc. They’re often things that I’ve experienced, and have become afraid of, by instinct. Honestly, they’re the most difficult to ignore, because there is literally no way for me to find my way out of them, when I realize what’s happening. I always have to wait for them to stop/pass, before I can do anything about it. 

  1. anneofpembroke said: s me. (also, I wasn’t the anon)
  2. koalaura posted this